Most parents wish they could better understand what their child needs, what they’re ready for, or why they’re acting a certain way. In the Montessori approach, observation is a simple but powerful tool that can help us develop this awareness. This blog post touches on why observation matters and how you can begin using it in everyday life as a parent.
Montessori observation
In Montessori, observation is more than just watching, it’s a way of seeing. It means slowing down, becoming curious, and noticing what your child is doing *without* judgment or the urge to interrupt. It’s a practice of presence.
Guides in Montessori classrooms observe constantly to understand each child’s needs, interests, and stage of development. It is both an objective, scientific endeavor, and one which requires attunement and a deep love for the subject of study - a small developing human.
As a parent, you are already full of so much love for your child that you’re uniquely positioned to use this same tool at home and support your child(ren)’s growth.
A superpower for parents
“It is the part of a wise and loving parent to stand by, to watch the little one’s activities, to observe his growth rather than to try to force it.” - Maria Montessori
Observation gives you crucial insight that no book or expert can offer—because it’s your child, in your context. Creating a practice of watching your child without judgement and writing down your notes and thoughts allows you to:
- Decode behavior: When you observe without rushing to fix, you may begin to see what’s really going on under the surface.
- Spot readiness: You’ll notice what your child is drawn to, what skills they’re practicing, and what might come next. This allow you to prepare their environment in a better way!
- Build connection and trust: Your child feels seen and respected. You’re showing them, “I’m here. I’m watching. We’re learning together.”
- Be in the moment: See the child in front of you, as they are right now - not who they were yesterday, or who they will be tomorrow.
Common challenges
Of course, sitting down to observe and journal isn’t always easy, especially as a parent. There can be bumps along the way, such as…
- being too busy or distracted
- feeling the urge to help or fix
- not knowing what to look for
In Montessori education, guides are often advised to “sit on their hands and bite their tongues” as a way to prevent unnecessary intervention, especially when observing a child do something on their own. It is also helpful to have some questions or ideas for things to observe, so we can shift our attention to different aspects of the child’s activity.
Observation is a skill. Like any other, it gets easier with practice and a bit of structure!
Simple ways to start
You don’t need hours of free time, or a background in Montessori to begin observing your child more intentionally. Here’s a suggestion to get you going:
⏲ 5-Minute Observation Challenge
- Choose a moment when your child is playing, exploring, or being cared for by someone else.
- Grab an empty notebook, open your notes app, or download the sample page at the bottom of this post.
- Find a quiet spot where you can see and hear your child, but you’re not disrupting them.
- Set a timer for 5 minutes.
- Watch without interacting. Resist the urge to comment, guide, or step in. If something comes up that you want to say/do, write it down to the side.
- Jot down 3 things:
- What did they choose to do?
- How did they move their body?
- What emotions or facial expressions did you notice?
That’s it. Just five minutes of quiet watching can change your whole perspective. You can come back to your notes and reflect any time, and in a few months or a couple of years, these small notes will give you insight into how your child is developing - allowing you to move from day-to-day “micro view” to a bigger “macro view” of their growth patterns.
A dedicated journal for parents
If you’d like a bit more support, I created the Observation Journal just for this.
- It guides, not dictates - helping you notice patterns, reflect, and grow.
- It brings ease to the process with gentle prompts and structured space for your thoughts.
- It helps turn observation into a habit that feels meaningful, not overwhelming.
- It poses questions that are relevant for your little one’s development and your reflection as a parent.
The journal offers a more structured approach to observation, with specific instructions and guidance. It includes thematic challenges that help you focus on key aspects of your child's development, from motor skills to emotional growth, and various prompts that can shift your mindset, encouraging you to capture those small moments that are often overlooked.
This is a kind of tool that even *I* wished I had during my training as an infant-toddler Guide, and later in my practice as a teacher and nanny. I built the Observation journal thinking of every little detail that could help a parent make the most out of observation, and included all helpful tools I would personally want to be able to reach for easily before/during those moments.
For example: the observation pages are especially structured with separate sections for objective observations and subjective comments - so that things that pop into your head have a place to land, and don’t disrupt your flow. Everything is as you need it to be, so you can quickly focus on what is important when you find that small, magical pocket of time.
Download the free printable page here:
And get the Observation Journal here ⬇️
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