Being able to care for one’s self is a cornerstone of independence, and for toddlers this starts with simple routines like washing their hands, getting dressed, and brushing their teeth. These aren’t just daily necessities—they’re opportunities for growth, building confidence and overcoming challenges. Practicing these routines also helps toddlers feel in charge of their own lives, something they deeply crave.
Toddlers often show a natural eagerness to take care of themselves, but this enthusiasm doesn’t last forever. Embrace the mess, the slow pace, and the occasional backwards shirt or shoes on the wrong feet —it’s all part of an important, valuable process.
Skip to:
- Preparing yourself
- The journey to independence
- Preparing the environment
- The right tools for the job (with amazon links)
- Points of interest
- Visual routines
- Get it here:
- Check out the full series:
Preparing yourself
Self-care at this age is all about practice and discovery. A toddler may take several minutes to pull on socks, miss a few spots when brushing teeth, or choose mismatched clothes - and that’s good, because when we do things ourselves, make mistakes and experience the consequences we learn much more!
Instead of aiming for the “right” result, let go of any pressure to step in and fix things immediately. Remember, each attempt is helping them learn and grow. Your patience and encouragement will set the tone for how they approach these tasks.
The journey to independence
Teaching self-care is a gradual process, starting with collaboration and moving toward independence. In the beginning, toddlers will need your guidance and help - opening the toothpaste tube, modeling how to zip a jacket, or holding the mirror so they can see themselves brush their hair.
As they gain confidence, you can step back and allow them to take over parts of the task. You might say, “You can pull your pants up from the front, and I’ll help pull up the back” or “I will open the shoe for you and you can put your foot in”. When they ask for help, try to think of the smallest bit of help you can provide that will still allow them to finish the task mostly on their own. Soon they’ll be saying “no, I want to do it myself!” ☺️
This gradual shift from teamwork to independence requires attunement and observation on your part: pay attention to what they can do on their own and where they still need support, adjusting your involvement as they grow.
Preparing the environment
An accessible and child-friendly environment is key to fostering independence in self-care. Look at your home from your toddler’s perspective:
- Can they reach what they need? Consider using low hooks for jackets, a small laundry basket for dirty clothes, or a drawer for their outfits.
- Is the setup efficient? A mirror at their level or a small bench with shoes underneath and a basket with socks can make getting out of the house much easier.
- Do they have enough space? A bench or small chair can provide support for tricky tasks like putting on pants.
The right tools for the job (with amazon links)
When purchasing hygiene items to use at home, look for items designed with little hands and budding skills in mind, such as:
- A small toothbrush that’s comfortable and handy.
- Elastic waistbands and loose-fitting clothing that they can manage independently, or bigger buttons that are easier to fasten.
- Shoes with Velcro straps or pull-on styles that don’t require tying.
- A small hairbrush that works well for their hair type.
- A step stool with enough grip and height, but still light enough that they can move by themselves.
See the list below for some suggestions, with product links:
Toddler self-care items
Points of interest
Self-care tasks are rich with what we in Montessori calls “points of interest”, or details that naturally capture a toddler’s attention and motivate them to engage with the world, such as:
- The feel of water dripping off their hands after washing
- The smell and taste of the toothpaste
- The satisfaction of pulling a zipper all the way up
By recognizing and highlighting these details, instead of trying to distract and get it over with, you can help your toddler stay concentrated on the task at hand and appreciate the small moments that make up our daily routines. It will probably also help you see the beauty and joy in what can otherwise be frustrating moments!
Visual routines
Having a visual support can be transformative in helping toddlers master self-care. A simple series of pictures showing the steps for washing hands or getting dressed makes the process clearer and easier to follow.
This is why I launched “First routines: a visual self-care book for kids 1y+”, which features 11 self-care routines with real images of every item and action required. It is designed to ease the frustration for both parents and children, and help parents teach their kids important life skills for looking after themselves. It also includes a page for parents with quick tips on practicing self-care with kids, teaching steps and handling accidents, as well as a list of points of interest for every task.
Get it here:
The book is available as a digital download and is then perfect to print + laminate so you can use it at home. It would also make an amazing gift for any young child in your life, paired with some of the above-mentioned self-care items!
Check out the full series:
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